Great White Hunter

So we have not been in our home long at all and already I have been bitten by more things than during any number of Knights retreats back in the day. And I found out that while I am mildly allergic to red wasp stings I am not apparently allergic to a scorpion sting. I figure I might as well beat my wife to the punch with both stories, at least so the true account gets out. The wasp incident happened after about four days of buffing our concrete floors (beating). I was somewhat delirious and so when I saw the wasp I did not have enough energy to go get something to kill it with. So I use what was handy...some plastic. Yup, I missed and he got me. My finger blew up and wouldn't bend for a week. Awesome. He flew away but I killed at least one of his cousins. I think his name was Philippe.

The scorpion incident was not really my fault. My wife spied the critter in the living room, I patiently waited for him to climb onto the newly buffed concrete, for a better squash of course. Unfortunately I had on my 8-year-old Old Navy flip-flops that are pretty much the hardiness of a sponge. I got him good, but all I did was make him mad and when I lifted my foot he got me. But then I smashed him with a coaster. But to my defense, I believe he was a ninja scorpion.

Anyone have Terminex' number?